I have a name
by Jc1009
Summary: What happens with Orihime is pushed too far? Uliquorra finds out the hard way and has to learn to face some hard truths in himself. There is power in names?
1. Chapter 1

Yeah yeah yeah, i should not be writing another thing until i finish what's been hanging..but It's eating my brain. So Enjoy my first Bleach Fic, "I have a name."

If you like it it'll be longer than a one shot..

* * *

In the time that Orihime had been in Las Noches she has gone through a myriad of emotions. Fear, anger, resentment, sadness, loneliness, boredom but perhaps the most surprising to her was lust. The first time she had dreamed of him she had woken up and retched from the memory. His lips on hers, his hands on her body, the way she felt under his gaze. The wonton things she let him do, the things she had done to him.

When she had woken a remembered them she had vomited and of course he had picked that moment to make his daily appearance at her room.

"Woman," He said as he impassively watched her voiding the contents of her stomach. "You are unwell?" No concern, no worry, not the slightest bit of worry. Nothing just dead emotion. She had looked up, wiping her lips on the back of her hand momentarily and looked at him before she shook her head unable to speak yet. He watched her for a heartbeat. Two. Three.

"If you are not unwell, you are not to engage is such behavior. Yours is to survive and be of use to Lord Aizen. You are unable to be of use if you are not fed enough or have voided your stomach contents. I will feed you via IV if this type of behavior continues." She watched his lips, remembering the way he had used them on her in her dream, she looked up at his eyes and wondered if they could really ever look clouded from desire or half lidded from fulfillment. Most of all she wondered why she would dream of him.

Ichigo would make sense. This did not. She resented him. She despised him. He had stolen her and delivered her into the hands of a monster. Her life was not her own because of him. Her friends were all gone. She was alone. Everything was lost and she should despise him, but each day she wondered more and more.

Who was this Espada who would watch over her? She wanted to know about him. She wanted to know him. There were times she would almost ask, but would catch herself before the words could bubble up. So, she soon grew to not only like her dreams but to look forward to them. In her dreams he would not only answer her but would engage her.  
He would even smile for her.

Those dreams though, were just the start.

* * *

She was laying her small bed, the moon casting it's glow upon her prone form when he entered her room. It was long after his usual visiting time but he had come to take try and observe her when she was in an unguarded state. He had been told it would allow for a more accurate view of her mental state. As all things with Lord Aizen though, he knew there would be something more but he supposed he'd find out when the time came what his master meant.

So as it was he entered her room and was she lost to sleep. He was about to leave when he saw her moving slightly in her bed and instead froze to see if she was stirring. She was not, merely talking in her sleep and reacting to it it would seem. He decided it would prove prudent to listen, perhaps he could gleam some information from her words. So he stood in the dark of her room, hidden by the shadows and waited. It wasn't long though before he heard his name.

It hurt him some where and he was perplexed. He had simply thought for a moment that perhaps she was having a nightmare and he had felt his chest tighten at the thought that it was he would be featured in her nightmares. He pushed the thought aside. It was only natural he supposed but still...why had he felt that way?

It would seem too that this was wrong. She was smiling. Her lips were upturned as they were when she was happy. He had seen her in the world of the living and had seen her smile enough to know that she was feeling the human emotion of happiness. He was curious though as to why his name would illicit any happiness from her. She turned over, still smiling but her mumbling was incoherent. He stayed a while longer but nothing else could be learned. He left her room as silently as he could, but as the door was sealed shut he missed her waking slightly to the sound. She looked around in confusion and spent the rest of the night wondering what it was she could feel traces of around her.

* * *

Morning found Orihime tired and grumpy. Her dream had been going so well, she was on the verge of a great breakthrough of her fantasy relationship with Ulquoirra. He had been about to tell her he loved her. While she knew rationally that this would never come to pass she had wanted to hear it so badly. She had come to love her fantasy Uliquorra and her dreams of him were now her bright shining hope in this dark world. She knew it wasn't rational but she desired him.

She had cared for Ichigo but she had never desired anyone like this. Had he come to her in the moments after her dream she would have surrendered for him everything to Aizen just to feel his lips on her, his fingers on her body, the heat of his breath on her neck. It was this revelation she was mulling over when he came in without preamble during the light of day.

He looked at her for a moment. She felt herself still under his gaze but could not bring herself to break eye contact. Her heart pounded in her ears and she felt blood rushing from her face. Oh how she would love to go to him and wrap her arms around him.

"Woman. Why do you look so drawn?" Orihime did not answer him. She didn't know how to say that she had been sure she had felt his presence in the middle of the night in her room. She was sure she was crazy. "Tell me the reason.." He pressed.

"I did not sleep." She finally answered. He looked at her, his eyes not changing. She averted her eyes. Why couldn't he be her dream lover?

"You were sleeping fine from what I saw." She snapped her head up and looked at him wide eyed, feeling herself go red. He had watched her sleep at her most vulnerable. She felt hot under his gaze. "You spoke to me in your dream, did you not?"

"It's not that simple, " she trailed off unsure how to answer him.

"You said my name, it seems fairly simple woman." He pressed her harder. Suddenly she became so tired of it all. So tired of day after day living in fear, and loneliness. So tired of worry and bored. She as mad now.

"I have a name" She snapped at him. She stood up and took two steps across the room and looked at him. "I HAVE A NAME!" She yelled his his face. He did not react.

"You are a tool for Lord Aizen's will. You belong to him, Woman. You are a tool." She was acting irrational, he knew he should not engage her but he did for some reason he couldn't quite understand.

That tore it. That really tore it. She glared at him and continued. "I have a name Uliquorra Cief. I am Orihime Inoue. I. HAVE. A. NAME! Tools have names, shovel, hammer, ax, Grimmjaw, Ulquoirra. I have a name too! You will address me by name!"

He was trying to figure out her reaction as it was wholly unexpected. She had shown such a broken spirit up until now. She had responded as planned to all the cages he had built for her mind.

"Woma-" he was interrupted by her hand making contact with his skin. His head jerked to the side and she could see the red hand print across his cheek. While her hand stung she knew he was probably more annoyed then hurt. She braced herself.

"I HAVE A NAME!"

He looked at her and took her in wide eyes and tear streamed face. He turned on his heel and left the room without a word. He could hear her crying and laughing behind her door. He resolved to check on her later to see if this momentary lapse was part of a mental breakdown or just a one time thing. He did not linger outside of her door as he had last night and or as he had found himself doing the days before. He just strode to his chambers and once there he closed himself in and leaned against the stone stab of his wall, sliding down to the floor. He leaned his head back and exhaled.

"Orihime." He said quietly to himself. He tasted the name and felt it in his mouth. He had spoken her name to Lord Aizen but that had been it. Now he took his time with it and considered it. "Orihime." He said again. This time it was louder. He closed his eyes and pictured her, the way she had looked last night when she had his name and he said once more. "Orihime." He had done his best to imitate her tone and it was then his eyes widened in surprise.

She had said his name with reverence. With desire. Perhaps even with some kind of caring emotion. He felt light-headed. Why would she do such a thing? He was her warden.

"Orihime." He said once more and this time it was a sigh filled with sadness. He felt certain that after her outburst today she would never say his name in such a way again. It felt as if he was struggling for breath, as if being strangled at the thought. Why did he feel this way?


	2. Chapter 2

((OK, so I had accidentally uploaded my first draft of the original chapter-which i have since fixed..I think, but I also lied as this is apparently eating my brain as it's 2:30am where I am and this story is begging to be written. So..here it is.))

* * *

Orihime had surprised even herself with her outburst. She had no idea that she still possessed such spirit. It was as if she been possessed by another. In a way she was scared of the reprisal she felt would be coming but in another way she was proud of herself. She had stood up for herself.

Orihime Inoue had stood up for herself.

Pride blossomed in her chest and she was smiling for the first time in days during the day. She might not be able to save herself or do much about her current positiong but she could at least stand up for herself on this thing. She would make Ulquiorra call her by her name. As she wondered if it would be a battle or not she remembered slapping him and her cheeks grew redder. She felt the start of the giggle in her throat.

She hadn't intended any of it but she couldn't stop from replaying the image in her mind. She had thought that perhaps it was surprise she had seen in his eyes if even just for a second. That couldn't be true though..

Could it?

* * *

Ulquiorra had sequestered himself in his chambers till evening. He had been trying to piece together the nuances of the woman's odd behavior that morning. She had lashed out aggressively. At least, aggressively for her. He had watched her behavior carefully and he knew that she was a gentle soul. It part of what had made her so easy to manipulate. He had studied her.

He had done his best to learn about her for Lord Aizen. As he thought of how he had monitored her he began to wonder more and more if everything he had done was solely for Lord Aizen's benefit. If he allowed his mind to follow his line of reasoning he knew that he had done somethings for himself. He had lingered inside of her room more and more often. Not telling her to hurry when she ate. He had gone to her home in the human world several times to see where it was she had resided once the soul reapers had left. He had told himself it was recon. An exercise to know her better. He had lingered among her things, sometimes gently touching something that had touched her body or studying how she had arranged her belongings just so with so much care.

He had wanted to know more about her. He had wanted to know Orihime Inoue more. He felt the tug inside of him since he had watched her during her last 12 hours in the world of the living. She fascinated the fourth espada in a way that nothing had since he had become a hallow. The way she moved, the shapes her face would take on as it moved with emotion in response to those things he had come to know as humans. He wanted to know about it all. Especially the thoughts that went through her head. He wanted to know why she "felt" these "emotions". Things like "faith" and "care" and even "Love".

He had heard it spoken of many times during his trips to the world of the living. This "love" was a human emotion and from what he could see if seemed to inspire a broad range of actions in the living. He had seen men topple and abuse the women they had claimed to "love". He had seen a woman holding a new born child to her breast gently and cradle the baby with the utmost care out of the same love. He had seen tears shed in joy and pain as well as the physical action of laughter. All because of this love. He had categorized it as illogical, and one thing he knew was the humans were often illogical beings. They lived their short lives in such strange ways. They followed their emotions instead of facts and would often; as he'd seen the woman who now occupied his Lord's cell as well as his inner most thoughts, make decisions that were not in their best interests based upon these emotions.

He spent hours standing at his window, looking out over the sands around Las Noches. The desert made sense to him. He was as barren and as desolate as it before Orihime Inoue had come into his life. He had been just as empty but now as the moon rose over the white sands and it was time to feed and check on the woman who's physical care he had been entrusted with he found he was experiencing something strange.

It had first been a small thing that had twisted in his gut till it pulled at the air in his lungs. He had wondered at Orihime's "love" for the substitute soul reaper. When he had thought about the words she had said and the tears that she had shed over the man he knew was his inferior he became illogical. He felt a strange pain. It burned below his hallow hole and robbed him of all thought for what seemed an eternity. Why did he care if the woman "loved" the substitute soul reaper? Why did he feel angry at the thought that she loved?

No, that wasn't it. If he allowed himself to follow that thought he found that he didn't care if she loved. It was that she didn't love him but the substitute soul reaper, Ichigo Kurosaki. He remembered the way she had turned her face in her dream and said his name. His mind had offered up a number of illogical fantasies in response. He imagined that she had awoken and spoken to him in the same manner, beckoned him deeper into her chamber, invited him into her arms, to share her bed.

In his pocket his fingers had bitten into his thighs as he imagined it. He knew it made no sense to think of these things but he found he had no desire to stop his thoughts from returning to the small woman. He wondered if he touched her if she would smile for him. He curled his fingers into fists and clenched them tightly as he wondered if she would allow him to run his fingers down her exposed neck, he found he desired to feel beat of her human heart underneath of his palm. He wanted to know how warm her skin really was. He wanted her to smile at him like she did in her dreams.

He wanted her to love him.

He closed his eyes when he allowed the realization to wash over him. He, the fourth Espada of Lord Aizen's arrancar army wanted the human girl that his lord claimed as his own to love him and him alone. More than that, he desired her. He wanted Orihime to be his woman. Not Ichigo Kurosaki's, or Lord Aizen's. He wanted her for himself as his woman. Not his tool, not his possession, but his woman.. She had made him feel.

When Ulquiorra thought about situation he felt emptier. He had stolen her for Lord Aizen, she would never smile for him in reality. He would never know how if felt to brush the hair gently from her face, to kiss her softly, to run his fingers over her with reverence and to be loved by her in return.

He was not a man. Biologically speaking he was anatomically male. He possessed the form and functioning physical parts but he was a sword forged for Lord Aizen's will. He was an espada. He wasn't allowed to have desires.

He wasn't allowed to want for himself.

He wasn't allowed to love.

Especially Orihime Inoue. So he had tried very hard to make her not real. Her outburst had brought all of this into sharp focus. Orihime was real, terrifyingly so to him. She was the only being that had ever made him feel anything beyond boredom, or irritation.

As the desert winds calmed below him he tried to calm the storm within him. On the surface at least he was composed. It would have to do because he had to go an access Orihime's state.

* * *

Orihime had not wanted to sleep after she had slapped Ulquoirra. She had not wanted to see her dream lover so soon after his actual form had upset her so. She had come to want to know the real Uliquora as she desired to be in the arms of his dream counter part. She knew it made no sense but she wanted them to be the same.

She had slapped him with all her might but she kept coming back to the moment she had made contact with his cheek. The cool smoothness of his skin. It reminded her of alabaster marble. Perfect, beautiful but cold. She felt bad as soon as she had calmed herself after her outburst. She feared it may have done more harm than good and she was scared when her door was pushed open.

"I am coming in," Ulquiorra said in his usual way, "Orihime." When her said her name Orihime had frozen unsure if she had heard him correctly. Had he really said her name? She entered her room and crossed the distance in his usual unhurried way.

Orihime's grey eyes had watched him to see if this was trick on his part but he didn't seem to acting any differently than normal. If she knew the thoughts that were going through his mind she'd have been shocked but not being privy to his innermost thoughts as she wished to be she had to base her opinions on what she could see.

"I am sorry I attacked you Ulquoirra!" She exclaimed and he knew from the tone of her voice that she meant it. She was too tender for her own good, like a gentle flower in a field that could be broken by the wind or plucked by a careless person. If she stayed in this place he knew his precious flower would be trampled, her beauty and goodness destroyed.

'His'? He looked over her critically. No she would never be his. He had to detach himself. It was for her protection as much as his.

"Are you well now?" She flushed and looked him in the eyes before blushing and turning away to stare out the window as he had seen her doing more and more as of late.

"I am ok." It was quiet and he took a few steps to where she was so he could see her face to judge the truth for himself. She was composed and had no tears on her face but her calm surface was just a cover.

"Do not lie to me..Orihime." he said just loud enough for her to hear. She turned to her,worrying on her bottom lip and her eyes were wide. He thought of the time that Yammy had hit her during the first encounter they had. He remembered how she had charged in to try and save her friend and he had known then that she had bravery. It was that bravery now that allowed her to face him. "Are you truly alright, Orihime?" His voice was soft, the answer seemed to really matter to him. She tried to smile at him but it faltered and her breath hitched.

"I don't know Ulquoirra." She laughed but it was not the happy sound he come to remember. He could detect sadness and longing in the laugh. It unnerved him to be so close to her in her time of despair. His discomfort was made worse when he thought that he might be the cause of her being anything but happy. Had he not been so focused on her happiness or lack there of he would have caught his hand before his left his pocket but as it was the back of his fingers traced down her cheek. He could see a blush coloring her face and found the effect was not unpleasant. It pleased him to know he was the cause of such an overt physical reaction from the woman before him. She gasped at the coolness of his flesh on hers and looked at him wide eyed.

"Please do not despair Orihime. It displeases me." He said and her lips parted in shock. She took a shuddering breath and he watched a smile form on her lips. She closed her eyes and leaned against his fingers for a moment before he thought better of it and withdrew his hand. When she opened her eyes they had regained their shine and her face was creased with worry. She wasn't happy but she was no longer suffer. Her eyes were a light and the corners of her lips were upturned. It was small but he knew it was genuine and he had brought it forth. He found himself incredibly pleased by the knowledge.


	3. Chapter 3

((This has not been proofed, it's being written on my cell but I want to get it up))

It was strange, Orihime thought that she didn't hate Ulquiorra. She never had. She had run through a myriad of feelings towards her warden but hate wasn't one of them. She feared him; that was true, but she also was curious about him.

Whenever he was near she felt just an overwhelming nothing. An emptiness that hurt her. He wasn't just a hallow, it was as if he was hallow. The thought made her sad and her heart hurt for him. Did he want to be empty inside? There had been times that she had thought that she might prefer being empty inside so she didn't have to feel anymore hurt or pain.

When Sora had died, or when she saw how Ichigo would all all over himself for Rukia. When she saw her friends being hurt and when she had first been brought to this awful place. Now though..now she knew the truth that she would never want to be hallow. Those emotions, even though they hurt, made life more real.

She was contemplating this when her morning meal arrived the next day. With his usual threats to have her force fed she focused on the meal till but a few bites remained. After he had abruptly left her the day before she had been confused. He had told her that he wanted her to not be sad. To Orihime that meant that he wanted her to be happy, but was that the case? Was that was he had meant?

Her warden was always very direct so perhaps she should stop trying to read into the things he said and take them at face value. Ulquiorra did not seem to play the palace games of politics or intrigue. No he was blunt. She supposed that was part of why she was coming to like him. She always knew where she stood with Uliquorra. She knew he was dangerous to her but found that she didn't have it in her to fear him at the moment. Instead she tried to sneak glances at him as she ate.

As her eyes came up to watch him before she took her last bite she found that she was being intently watched with open curiousity on his face. She swallowed hard and looked him in the eyes. For some reason her pulse jumped when she did.

* * *

Over the centuries that he had lived Ulquiorra had always been self composed. Since his ascention from mindless hallow he had liked to think he had more dignity that most of the trash that he was surrounded by. While he lived with him the society of Las Noches he was not truly apart of it, not in the same way that Grimjow or Harribell were. They were integrated into the society that Lord Aizen had created. While Ulquiorra functioned well enough within in it he knew that he'd never truly be a part of it.

He had never been bothered by the idea until now. He knew that the man he served had plans for Orihime Inoue that went far deeper than what he was told, but it was known that he intended for the woman to be a part of the society of Las Noches in a large capacity. While he should have no opinion on it he had come to realize along with his desire to be loved by the woman he wanted to be around her, but that also meant being apart of the tapestry that was woven in Las Noches.

He had no desire to be constantly surrounded by trash like Nnoitra or Grimjow. He could only barely tolerate Yammy and that was more so because the lower Espada somewhat hero worshipped him. This was different. He found that he...desired to spent time around Lord Aizen's captive.

Captive.

Lord Aizen's. He all came back to that. The woman might have followed him without a fight but she wasn't here of her own free will. While she may have dreamed about him; a thought that brought him a feeling he couldn't describe, she would never be here-with him or otherwise-freely.

He had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he had not seen her finish her meal and her eyes upon him. When he met her gaze his throat felt tight. He knew he should look away, not encourage the feeling in his chest or the actions she seems more and more intent on making lately but he didn't want to crush another part of her. He wanted to preserve her the way she was.

"Orihime." He said and she smiled at the use of her given name. The silliest things seemed to please her, but seeing that he was the one who had performed the action that had pleased her he felt irrational pride. He had made her smile. Twice in as many days. He was keeping count now he realized. "You have an audience with Lord Aizen, you have one hour to prepare yourself. I will return then, I suggest you use the time to not only compose your physical persons but your so called 'heart' as well."

"What does he want to talk to be about?" She asked as he turned to leave. He acted as if he had not heard her because he himself wasn't privy to what the Kinda of Heuco Mundo wanted. He wasn't going to respond. He shouldn't have responded but with his hand on the door he paused but didn't not turn back to her. He didn't want to see if the smile she had had freely give him moments ago was gone. He didn't want to be the cause of it's loss.

"I do not know." And with that he was gone.

* * *

Orihime had quickly dressed in a fresh uniform and righted her hair. Lacking cosmetics there was little more she could do so she had waited for Uliquorra, her mind running wild. What did Aizen want now? Was she to heal another of the espada? Perhaps he wanted her to heal him?

It was the not knowing that had her so distracted that she had walked right into Uliquorra's back. She had been so absorbed in what she was thinking she had failed to notice that he had stopped before her, directly below the marble thrown of Lord Aizen. She gulped as she tumbled expecting to hit the floor but before she did she felt the cool hands of Ulquiorra on her. Her head was cradled in one of his hands, the other resting lightly on her abdomen. His eyes quickly met hers and she felt a jolt of electric that sent her cheeks on fire.

How could she be so silly! She was embarrassed to be staring on Ulquiorra but didn't look away till she heard the chuckle from above.

"My dear Orihime. Were you so entranced by me that you failed to notice anything else?" He was mocking her and she blushed harder as Uliquorra helped her up. Even though his hands had been cold she still felt a lingering something where they had made contact with her body. She bit her lip and flushed red looking away from him to Lord Aizen.

"I'm sorry, I just..." She trailed off as she looked at his face and realized that while his words had been light he was not actually amused by her faux pas. She bit her lip and looked down him fear and shame. That seemed to be the reaction he wanted because he was suddenly before her. Orihime couldn't help but tremble as she felt his finger slide along her cheek then hook beneath her chin, raising her face to look at his.

"Oh Orihime..there is no need to be embarrassed. It was an accident after all. It make me quite pleased to know that being around your King makes you so enraptured." She looked at him and nodded not wanting to say anything else. She averted her eyes to her hands that she was twisting nervously.

She wished she could reach out to Ulquiorra. He had a way of making her feel better just by being there and twice over the last two days he had gone out of his way to make her smile. She looked out of the corner of her eye to make sure he was still there.

While he had no facial expression she saw how tense his posture was and his eyes betrayed him. She knew she saw concern in them. She couldn't focus on that at the moment though. She looked at the man before her and he smiled wider. It was not a pleasant site.

"It pleases me to know that being around your future husband makes you so excited, Princess. Have no fear though Orihime...you will soon be my queen." When her jaw dropped he laughed and turned away. "In two months time we will be wed. All that is mine shall be yours my dear Orihime. And.."He turned back to her, the color drained from her face. "All that is yours will be mine."

With that she had been dismissed and she could hard feel her legs and she was led from the throne room. Her mind reeling, she only barely registered the feel of Uliquorra's hand on her arm, negotiating her through the hallways of Las Noches.

She was to marry him. Marry a man she did not love. A man she hated. The shock was wearing off and fear was taking hold. She turned towards Uliquorra her eyes wide.

"Will he kill me? " She asked, her voice just above a whisper and she looked directly into his eyes. He studied her face for a moment before looking back into her eyes. His grip loosened and she felt something leaking from him but in the emotional state that she was in she couldn't quite place it.

"I don't know." She knew Ulquiorra didn't lie but she wished just this once that he had.


	4. Chapter 4

**((Ok, so I know where this story is going-in theory but I don't feel like it's very good, certainly not the quality that you guys deserve for taking the time to read it. This chapter as well as the last one were written on my cell phone during my lunch breaks at work. I have a goal and a plot in mind, I do, but if it's not good let me know I'll scrap it and start over with something that works better. For reference this is after she's been in Las Noches for a bit, not right after her kidnapping. I'm not trying to beg for reviews but please let me know either via review or PM what you guys think))**

Ulquiorra had seen Orihime safely to her quarters and answered her question to the best of his ability. He hadn't lied to her when he said he did not know if Lord Aizen would kill her. What he hadn't told her was that he feared daily that the naïve red head would do something that displeased his master and he'd be forced to end her life.

He knew the first moment he came to fear that. It was during one of the mandatory briefings that he was required to give on her mental health as well as the state of her "turning". He had expressed his fear that she would never truly join the espied or Lord Aizen's cause and when he'd seen the man's steeple fingers and pinched expression he waited with his pulse racing for the order he felt certain would come next. He would be ordered to end her life and dispose of her body like the trash he so often dismissed.

The thought of having to snap her neck; he couldn't picture his hand thrusting into her sternum, past her ribs to the fleshy muscle she anthropomorphized so being punctured by his fingers or crushed in his hand. The idea of her scarlet blood staining his pale hand was something his mind refused to imagine, his whole person rebelled against the idea of a violent death for Orihime Inoue. While he had already decided she was a strong girl he knew that his hands, that had meted out more death than she could imagine with her delicate, human heart. He knew that if was ordered to he'd have to kill her and he wouldn't not make it painful or violent. The woman who smiled for her, and spoke to him of hearts and feelings would not be murdered like trash. He would do it if he was ordered to..he wouldn't have a choice..but he would make it an easy death for her.

The idea of her body breaking under his hands caused him physical pain. Ulquoirra hid it but the idea of her death coming from him caused him a deep pain. He watched his master carefully trying to brace himself for the order he knew would be coming. He held his body rigid, his mind trying to work out arguments to prevent the woman's death. He would use logic. He'd point out how valuable her power was, and even if she wasn't wholly on their side she would still do as she was told. They could use blackmail or manipulation. She was especially susceptible to threats against her friends. If they were to kidnap a human that held no spiritual talent and threaten that human with torture he was sure that she'd comply. He already had the human picked out.

"Ulquiorra," He looked his lord and master in the eye prepared to fight for the woman's continued life. "Make our guest feel more comfortable. Make sure she is prepared food to her taste. Find her reading materials she will enjoy, but nothing that will give her hope for escape. Answer a few of her meaningless questions. Make her feel like my honored guest."

Ulquiorra could do nothing but stare.

* * *

Orihime had not slept. Every time she had closed her eyes she had had nightmares of her upcoming nuptials to Aizen. At home point she had imagined him strangling her on their wedding night in their marital bed. She was drawn and jumpy the next morning when Ulquiorra announced his presence and entered her room.

He paused and looked at her, his own appearance off in a way that she could not quite explain. His uniform was crisp, his skin held its usual parlor and his eyes..his eyes were the deep verdant that she had come to look forward to.

Las Noches was so devoid of color, she drank it in whenever she could see it. The red of her hair, the green of his eyes, the blue of Grimmjow and or the cocoa or Kaname Tosen's skin. Orihime never realized how for granted she had taken the world of the living. Her life in Karakura town had been so vivid and she didn't even know it until she had come to Hueco Mundo. He was still standing over her, studying her when the silent servant brought her meal.

The food was set before her and there was no threat. She looked him the eye and he silently held her gaze neither Ulquiorra or Orihime broke eye contact for a minute until he reached out and moved the dome from her meal. She looked down at the plate and felt her heart skip an excited beat as her eyes scanned the content of her plate.

Rice. Scrambled eggs. some curry chicken and, it couldn't be... She eyed the ramekin for a moment then picked it up and dipped her pinky finger in it before bringing it to her lips. It was..Red Bean Paste! She looked up at Ulquiorra who hadn't moved and broke into a smile. She was so happy that tears began to well up and she was soon sobbing.

* * *

Ulquiorra furrowed his brow in confusion. He watched as the woman before him broke down into tears and felt as is he was a failure. Was this red bean paste not her favorite food substance? Did it not usually bring her joy? He found himself at a total loss as he occasionally did with Orihime. The woman vexed his thoughts and now he felt as if his chest was being crushed by a huge weight. He was unaccustomed to feelings like this and had no idea what it meant.

Before he could process anymore thoughts he found her arms thrown around his neck and her face buried in his chest. She was babbling and he could only make sense of every few words.

"Thank you Ulquiorra. Thank you so much." He stood stock still and held his breath, he was strangely unwilling to remove her from his person. She was saying his name in a way that made him feel, lighter. He wasn't sure what to do so he allowed her to sob against his uniform, finding himself totally unable to care that his outfit was being soiled by her tears. He closed his eyes for a second and took a moment to allow his sense to take in the way she smelled and felt against him. He never really noticed how delicate her bones felt, or how small she seemed against him. He was not overly large but she was smaller still.

It stirred something inside of him. If he hadn't known better he'd have said it was a protective instinct. That was of course impossible because he was an espada, Lord Aizen's most trusted arrancar. He was incapable of caring, but he still enjoyed the feeling of her body close to him. He was enjoying the warmth of her and about to reach up his arm to touch her when she abruptly pulled away.

He watched her for any sign that he had done something to make her pull away from him but it seemed that it was her own sense of propriety.

She flushed as red as her hair and he found that this too was a pleasing site for him. She avoided his gaze and returned her attention to the red bean paste.

"How did you know this was my favorite?" He didn't answer, his voice having fled when he saw the vulnerability in her face and the way she worried on her lip. She didn't press him however, her hunger overcoming her interest and she began to devour the meal before her.

When Orihime finished everything on her plate she turned her full attention back to him and he saw pure joy in her face. It pleased him, but he did not show it. Neither of them discussed the events of the previous evening, both preferring not to think of it. Ulquiorra knew her reasons for avoiding the subject, but his own were not as clear.

He had never felt jealousy before and found now that he was unsure of it. He wanted to maul his lord and master. The man that had transformed him into what he was today.

What he was..he was a hollow.

He didn't have feelings. He didn't have wants or desires. He was a tool of Lord Aizen's will. He was a walking weapon. He curled his hands into fists into his pockets and willed the feelings inside of him to stop. He looked at Orihime and his resolved faltered. No, the woman. He looked at the woman. He had to think of her as such or he would be unable to perform his duties.

"Thank you Ulquiorra." She said, and he forced himself to look at her. He swallowed hard, she was smiling again as she said his name and it couldn't help but think that his name sounded so perfect on her lips. She had a lovely flush to her face and he wanted to do something that he could not name.

He only nodded and left her alone. When the door sealed behind him he couldn't help himself and he counted to four. Four times in three days he had brought a smile to her face.

He was as troubled by the knowledge that he cared as he was elated by the fact that he brought her even a fleeting moment of happiness, that he had caused her to smile..


	5. Question

Hello,

I had stopped writing this story because i had felt like I was starting to lose control over it but if enough people belive in it, and want to know more I'm willing to come and write more because I do have a story arc and ending in mind. Please let me know via PM or comment.

Thank you-

JC


	6. Chapter 6

((Ok, you got me. I'll muddle through, that's the only real way for me to do things anyway and I know how it ends but the inbetween is just...well.. yeah. So while I wait for my other story to get beta'd This is not proofed and I'm sorry but I suffer from the tragic loss of no one to read it for me before.))

So it was day in and day out the two trapped in Aizen's grasp danced around each other. She didn't want to talk about it and he couldn't bring himself to upset her. She was..she was...she was special. She smiled at him and he burned warmly. It came as quite the surprise when they were summoned before their lord and master quit suddenly but they did as they were told. It wouldn't be wise to dwaddle.

"My beautiful Orihime..You shine more brightly than the sun. It's a feast for the eyes to gaze upon you." She dipped her head in mock acknowledgement. Her insides were screaming and she tried to look out the corner of her eyes and Ulquiorra. The skin around his eyes was strained but nothing more. It was quite possibly that no else noticed but she knew him as well as he knew himself. She looked up when Aizen spoke again.

"Nothing to say my dear beloved?" This time she had to talk and she knew it had to be good. So did Ulquiorra. She was strong, She could do it. Hands tightened in his pockets and she looked Aizen in the eye, gave him a small smile and said the thing he needed to hear.

"Your flattery leaves me speechless my Lord. No one has ever admired me as you do."

"Oh that can not be true my dear. You enrapture everyone around. Even my coldest soldier. Isn't that right Ulquiorra." Now the voices in his head were screaming. Run drop her with Kurosaki. Hide her protect her. She was his. She was His. SHE WAS HIS! but he looked at the Soul Reaper who would be god and said it anyway.

"My Lord?" It was a question because truly no one could know how he felt. That he felt. "I have done all you have instructed."

"And so perfectly my dear Espada. Did you know that before Orihime you were my favorite? I hope you don't mind but she is not on the pedastal. She is born to be a queen. Just look at her carriage, her grace, her beauty. And you'll do well to remember she is mine." The last was said coldly and Orhime went stiff beside him.

"If you touch her I'll kill you. Do you understand me?" It was all Ulquiorra could do to stand and look. Their lives depend on it. "You will guard her with your life. You will honor her and if the time comes you fight and die for her. Because you love her. As I love her. If you touch her, I'll kill you and that would hurt her a great deal. I can't bear to hurt my beloved. You won't make me will you?"

"I live to serve you Lord Aizen. You will is law." He dipped his head in resignation. The truth was out. And now she knew and she would be revolted. He was a monster. She would recoil. No more smiles. He had tried to keep his distance but it wasn't possible with her. She was light and warmth and filled himand he was a moth to a flame and he would die for her. She would be his death and he'd go to him openly is she was safe.

"Now that that is settled, return her to her room, you will not touch her but you will give her all of her whims. You will please her and love her from afar."

He could only mutely nod and not bear to look at her. It hurt so much. She would be horrified. He was a monster. It kept blairing in his head.

"Go now." He turned and heard her follow but he didn't look. His hollow hole burned It ached but he led her back to what small safety she had. He would later replay her last smile he planned. He'd burn it in to him as he'd never have it again. Neither spoke but he pushed open her door and stepped inside. He face turned away and she slowly moved into the room and when he turned to go she grabbed him and pushed back. His back slid to the door. The door was shut and they were alone.

"You love me?" Her voice was quiet and he wouldn't face her but he turned his face and clenched his eyes shut to block out the sight. He could hear her cry and he mae a single nod. It was enough, but what happed next shocked him greatly. She threw his arms around him. She buried her face in his chest and cried harder. He stood for amoment no way to control it but he slowly raised his hand and brought it to her hair. She was still so warm against him and he needed it before it was gone. The could would be ever more so. She took a few ragged breaths and then she reached a hand up to his face. His forehead fell to hers and they both closed their eyes. She in his arms and he in hers. It was all they were allowed and this was probably too far. It'd be harder to leave the longer he stayed but he didn't want to be cold.

Just a little longer. Just a moment more. Before it was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

((Thanks to BrokenAngel820 for kindly beta'ing this. It was made light years better by her time and attention to detail. I hope you enjoy))

Ulquiorra watched impassively from the sidelines as the lower arancar pinned the fabric around Orihime. She was being fitted for her wedding gown. The Arancar and other Espada shared Ulquiorra's feelings of unhappiness with the impending nuptials, albeit for very different reasons.

"Ouch." She jumped for what seemed like 100th time and Ulquiorra moved across the room and grabbed the seamstress's hand and turned the full force of his glare on her.

"That is your future queen. You will treat her with care or Lord Aizen will be the least of your concerns. Do you understand me?" The nameless arancar who wasn't even important enough for him to bother to learn her name swallowed hard. Nodding, averting her eyes. She went back to fitting the red head who had become noticeably harder in the past two weeks. She didn't smile anymore, and when she was alone in her room, even though it had been upgraded befitting her status, she cried when she thought she was alone. More than once, Ulquiorra had stayed outside of her room for hours listening to her soft cries. His hollow hole aching in a way he'd never known before.

Now he looked at her, and she glanced at him from the corner of her eye. But neither of them did anything else. The woman standing before him was one that could survive Los Noches, but she was not intact. She was a shell of her former self and it ravaged him to know that the man he gave his allegiance to had stolen the stars from her eyes and the smiles from her lips. He could not make out any emotion on her face. He took up his spot on the wall once again. He closed his eyes and thought back to the last warm contact the two had shared, the night Lord Aizen announced his intentions for her to be his bride.

They had stayed against the wall for a long time. Both of their muscles becoming sore, and then the Onna had done something that had shocked him senseless. She had leaned up and put her fingers over his lips and brought her own lips to her fingers. This should have terrified him, but it was the most intimate contact they'd ever had and the touching of her lips to his in a round about way burned him. For her part, Orihime looked like she wanted to cry. It was the first time she'd shown weakness since the night her engagement was announced.

It was the first time that he lamented his own inability to shed a tear. With that, he touched her hair gently and left her before he'd done something that would place them both in danger.

The night Aizen announced his plans had shattered her. The next morning a strong Orihime had stood in her place. And he'd been mourning the loss of his loving Onna since. He'd catch glimpses of her, but it was like she had buried her heart. Watching her there, being fitted for her wedding gown, in the white silk and crystals, she was breath taking. She was being made for his master, the thought cutting him deep like a blade through his gut. Orihime had a lost look in her eyes. She wasn't quite focused on him but on some point it seemed behind him. The longing in her eyes made him wonder how it would be like for her to be getting dressed up for him like that. Would he be able to reflect it in his own eyes? A move barely perceptible, but he caught it. They knew that this was wrong, and each longed to run, to wed, to love for as long as they could, but he couldn't give into the compulsion. He would be signing her death warrant.

He looked into her eyes, knowing that she was still in there. He'd seen the flash of something before she looked away. But he'd seen it. And it was enough for him to cling to.

After several hours of standing like a doll, she was glad for the relief of being able to step down and move her sore muscles. When the arancar woman had left them, she'd felt like she was going to collapse and Ulquiorra was at her side in less than a heartbeat to steady her. He'd caught her as she'd swayed and her heart fluttered. She forced herself to look away. It was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. To look away from the one she loved, to bury her heart away when all she wanted to do was surrender to him body and soul. She kept telling herself it was for both of their good. She couldn't see him killed because she loved him. And she knew that Aizen wouldn't hesitate to end Ulquiorra's life if he even suspected that they were carrying on his behind his back.

So she buried her heart deep insider herself to protect him. She knew it hurt him as much as it hurt her, but at least he would be alive and that was worth more to her than her own life. She'd sacrifice herself if meant Ulquiorra would continue to exist.

"You should have eaten instead of working straight through." He murmured to her and she smiled weakly at him.

"I just wanted it done. The faster, the better."

"Are you so eager to be the Queen of Los Noches?" The bitter smile she gave him was enough of an answer. No she did not, she merely wanted it over. He didn't know that she was planning to sacrifice herself in order to rid the world of Sousuke Aizen. It was a choice she'd made that night after she found out he'd loved her. She hardened herself, making herself strong so that she could be the weapon that would end Aizen because there was no other way.

She'd done all the right things. During her daily dinners with Aizen, she'd smiled and batted her eyelashes. She laughed at his jokes, smiling at him. And all the while, she had been thinking of the moment she could reject his existence. It would take her own life to do so, but she would. Then, everyone she cared about would be safe.

She had been putting space between herself and Ulquiorra since she'd made her choice. She hoped it would hurt him less that way. He could live without her, but she realized, she would never be able to live without him again.

"Sit. I'll have the kitchen prepare you a meal." With that he swept away. She sighed and looked around, not for the first time. While her accommodations had been upgraded, she was still a prisoner, a gilded bird in a cage. She lost herself in her thoughts.

"If it isn't the future queen." She started and turned around. Grimmjow emerged from the shadows and she smiled at him. He'd been coming to visit her lately and she'd grown to like him in an odd sort of way. He wasn't nearly as blood thirsty as he'd seemed to be at first glance.

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra was back and eyed him.

"Still afraid to fight me cuatro?" Ulquiorra ignored the dig, eyeing him with disdain.  
"What are you doing here? No one is given access to her without mine or Lord Aizen's say so."

"Is that all you know how to do? 'Aizen this, Aizen that.' Why don't you just get on your knees for him already." He must have hit a nerve because he found himself against the wall in no time.

"Watch your tongue, Sexta." He was murderously angry and Grimmjow had never seen him show so much emotion. It was oddly thrilling, he might finally be able to goad him into a fight. He looked at the princess who was shifting her eyes between them nervously.

Orihime placed a hand on Ulquiorra's shoulder to bring him back from the brink of insanity. It was a soft, gentle reminder that she was there. He came back to his senses. She would be hurt if he fought the blue haired trash here and now and THAT was unacceptable. He would, but on his terms. Sinking his fist into Grimmjow would cure what ailed him. He'd punish the trash and relieve the pressure that had been building since he found out that his lord and master intended to marry the only person in the universe that mattered to him.

In a different time, a different world they would have been lovers. And he would have treasured her as the blessing that she was. He had no heart, and no soul but whatever tattered scraps were left of him were hers. He hadn't realized the food had arrived until he heard the slight scraping of the silverware on china. He turned. The Onna was eating, and he needed to tamp down his reitsu before he hurt her. He'd sooner throw himself on Murcielago's blade rather than hurt her.

Of all the things in his life, she mattered the most. What's more is that he mattered to her. He knew Aizen wouldn't spare a moment's thought if he met his demise. The only being who would care was the woman sitting at the table. He'd give anything to touch her in this moment, but he wouldn't risk her safety. Aizen was a mad man. And he never went back on his word.

She was watching him. She always seemed to know when his defenses were down. Before he had a chance to comfort her, she was across the room. She didn't hesitate to put her hand to his cheek. The warmth was overwhelming and he closed his eyes for a second before he seized her wrist. Gently removing it from his face. He could feel the loss of the warmth that her hand provided, and he ached for the feeling again.

She took advantage of his momentary distraction, and was on her toes when he felt her kiss on his other cheek. It made him feel warm. He couldn't take it. He'd welcome death gladly. He buried his hands in her hair and drew her close. He claimed her lips, it was a primal need and it held all of the emotions he'd been stifling over the months she had been there. She would know that she was the sole source of light in his universe. It was a desperate act from the man before her. It was like he had been lost in the desert and just discovered water. They were drowning in it, but it was over too soon.

She kissed him back just as desperately but it ended too soon. They pulled apart, her bottom lip between her teeth.

"I couldn't resign myself to my fate without having done that." He said. The dam broke, and she was in tears, harder than before. She was sobbing. She threw her arms around him and buried her face in his chest. After a moment's consideration, he brought his arms up and held her. His hands absently stroking her back. He was sick having thought he did this to her. His selfishness hurt her. He wasn't sorry he'd kissed her but regretful that he hadn't done it sooner. Had he, maybe he could have reached the gentle girl inside.

"You can't die. I won't let him. I'll reject him." He shook his head and turned away before he brought his eyes back to her. His hands leaving her body slowly, they moved down her arms. It was more than just a physical separation and Orihime felt like there was a physical boundary between them. He was erecting walls in much the same way she had. The irony was not lost on her. She gave him one last hopeful smile and he closed his eyes. Memorizing the way she looked in this moment.

"Hush, Onna. I am ok." and he sounded, at peace. Orihime felt very afraid at those words. What had she done to her Ulquiorra?


	8. Chapter 8

((this has not been proof read maybe down the line but something has been happening in my life and quite frankly i needed to channel it into something))

It was with a desperate, desolate feeling that Orihime found herself pacing her room. She vacilated between crying, being angry and terror. She replayed the last evening.

* * *

She had been gathered gently in Ulquiorra's arms and he held her close to him. He allowed her to cry her eyes out on his chest and had leaned down to kiss away the tears from her cheeks. Shed turned into those kisses and he'd welcomed them openly. He kissed her back, she wound her fingers in what was exposed of his hair and it didn't take long for her to realize some of the saltiness she tasted wasn't just from her own tears.

Orihime pulled away to see Ulquiorra lift one side of his finely shaped mouth in a smile. It was fleeting, and it was small but it was a real smile. THe sight of it made her heart quicken, but in the next instant the moment was broken.

Gin and Tosen appeared on either side of him and Aizen behind them. He has his fatherly smile; when she first met MoMo she had wondered what had attracted her to him, but when she saw that smile. She knew. He takes in the scene. He loyal fourth crying, her a rumpled crying mess. He turns to her and with mock concern he inspects her. His cold hands ghosting over her, one coming to rest on the back of her neck. The slight pressure he applied reminds her that he can do so much more. She shivered and Ulquiorra stepped forward only to be grabbed on either side but the other defected Soul Reapers. He made a sound of protest but the fired off Kido to bind his jaws.

The sadness that Orihime saw in his eyes was real and she felt her own paper bird of a heart pound frantically. New tears sprang into her eyes.

"You are so lovely to me Orihime, even when you cry," began Aizen as he looked at her, "but you're so much prettier when you smile." The last was not said as sickeningly sweet and she knew it was a threat but terror she was feeling for Ulquiorra overrode the part of her brain that dealt with self preservation.

"Leave him alone!" She cried in terror and she tried to step forward but found the hand from neck moved into her hair and she was hauled back against the man she so desperately hated in that moment. Strong hands came down on her shoulders and held her into place while fetid breath was forced into her hear.

"See what your love has done to him. One of my best." Ulquiorra was forced to his knees before them. "You knew you were not to touch what was mine didn't you Ulquiorra Cifer?"

He looked up at his creator, his blank mask in place. As his mouth was restrained he nodded, He moved is green eyes to hers and they softened for just a moment, before he turned back to his creator. He lowered his gaze as he was accepting of his fate. He knew, he broke the rules. He'd die to kiss her to hold her. Since he woke in the pit he had felt this emptieness, this gnawing deep in him. It ached all the time and he just couldn't shake it. He had bandaided it temporarily when he had merged with the crystal tree, but he had still dreamed. He had longed for loneliness and then in that moment when he allowed his consciousness to become one with the tree he had a vision.

It was of a smile and an overwhelming feeling of warmth. He had seen it today on her face when he looked at her. He had felt ok for the first time since he became self aware. His soul knew hers and it was inevitable that he would love her. Everyone did but not like he did. He was so passionately in love with her. He longed to see her smile, kiss her lips, hold her close. His soul knew hers that first moment he saw her, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He had tried to deny it, and tried to make her faceless, nameless. Her love had been wasted upon that boy, Ichigo Kurosaki was a fool. Not that he wasn't, but they were so different. He would die for her. He would find her soul again. A love like this couldn't be stopped.

When he had seen her smile at him, kissed her lips and held her close the pain he always felt, the emptiness that burned in his chest had stopped. He could die. He knew why he was in Heuco Mundo know. His soul had loved hers so deeply that when it lost her he had been unable to let go. He had become a hollow.

She cried harder. "Please. Please no, I'll do anything!" She was pleading. He half finished wedding dress hung around her,her hair a mess, tears streaming and eyes red. She was breath taxingly beautiful and if he had the ability to speak he'd have told her so. He'd also have told her he loved her and that he'd find her again. To just live and be safe and not worry. He knew now why is soul was incomplete. She was missing.

"Anything?" His master was smiling and it held no warmth. He wanted to tell her no, do not but he was held tighter by the Soul Reapers. "Would you repair the hyogioku?"

She didn't take a moment to consider she nodded. "Yes, Yes. Anything." Aizen seemed to consider it and his eyes narrowed slyly.

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow you'll repair and awaken to hyogioku my dear and in exhange I will not kill your precious Ulquiorra. Hallibel?" The only female Espada seemed to materialize out of no where. "Please show my lovely Fiance to her quarters. You are to be her guard until furhter notice." The highcollared woman only nodded and led an exhausted Orihime away. She had collapsed on her bed as soon as the door was sealed behind her.

* * *

Ulquiorra had been bound by his master, but he did not fight it. No he was more concerend with what was unfolding in his mind. He had memories opening and he was deteremined to understand them. He now knew that it was the loss of Orihime's soul that had hurt him so deeply he had been unable to pass into the next life. He wanted to know why. He knew that somewhere in the vast palace of Los Noches she was crying for him and it hurt him a way he could not describe but he needed to now. So he closed his eys and he focused.

_The first time he had seen her he was five years old She was a servants daughter but that hadn't mattered to her. She still had marched right up to him and demanded he play with her. He was such a serious little boy, his father was Lord after all and he knew that one day he would have to take over. He didn't have time to play and he made no bones aobut letting her know how he felt. _

_Himeko didn't take no for an answer though and as time passed he began to look forward to their time together. Taro loved her from almost that first day and over the years that loved matured until when he was thirteen he kissed her. _

_She had smiled and kissed him back and he swore that he would marry her and make her lady of the manor and they'd spend their lives together. She kissed him again._

_This carried on until he was fifteen. He would kiss her in secret. By this time she wasn't just the housekeeper's __daughter, she was a part of the staff herself, albeit kept far away from the kitchens. She was his personal servant, but in all reality Taro would serve her. He had pledged his heart to her when he was five years old. Throughout the day his green eyes would seek out her grey ones and they would both smiles. _

_It wasn't to last though. When he was fifteen his father, Lord Tadashi called him before him and it was in that moment that everything changed. _

_"You're almost a man my son, it is time to find you a bride. The blood drained from his face with this statement. _

_"Father.."  
_

_"Hush Taro, I know all about your little daliances with the maid girl. " Taro's face become red in anger, but his father held a hand up. "Do you really love her son?" Taro looked his father in the eye and gave a single solem nod. _

_"Since I laid eyes on her." He added when his father said nothing. His father seemed to consider this for a moment and looked at his son._

_"That long?" Taro didn't say anything just met his father's gaze bravely. His father seemed to consider. _

_"When you turn sixteen you'll take her as your bride, on the condition she can become a lady by then." Taro blinked. Three months. He had three months. He was dismissed from his father and as soon as the door shut he took off at a run._

* * *

His memory broke off there but he could recall those nine years clearly and he had been so happy that day. Yet no matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to push past that moment he left his father's office. What had happened to make him forget, to make him so sad he couldn't move on.

He breathed a sigh out into the night and looked out the window to the moon that hung above Heudo Mundo perpetually.


End file.
